Am I smarter than a kindergartener?

My husband always says he's book smart and I'm practical smart. He says he can quote facts and share random information, but I can balance our checkbook and create loan amortization tables for our large purchases. To put our intellectual differences in perspective, a game of Trivial Pursuit with his like-minded friends begins with Danny saying, "Let's draw for teams!" whereas the other couples assume we'll play couples. They have found me to be the common link to losing. Well, at least my kids think I know everything. Well, for the time being. Emma is in kindergarten now. She has in impeccable memory like her father so she just soaks in facts all day. I don't know the order of species that lived on earth, what countries animals do or don't live in, or how much of Antarctica has electricity. Countless conversations between me and Emma end in "We'll have to ask Daddy" or "We'll have to look it up on the computer." I'm waiting for her to start requesting me to "google it" or find it on Wikipedia. She's been learning about dinosaurs this past week. Okay, I know a few dinosaur names I can spout off. I remember what a herbivore, carnivore and omnivore are. We're in good discussion and I'm doing my motherthly duty to encourage her love of science. Emma starts sharing with me all the different theories there are about how the dinosaurs became extinct. Per Emma (because I have no clue), there are theories that it got too hot, too cold, or a flood. Everyone in her class was supposed to write a theory about how they thought the dinosaurs became extinct and draw a picture of it. She said many kids made up their own theories and laughed at the crazy ideas from the silly boys, but she's sticking with the scientists. She drew a picture of it being too hot. I told her how great that was and I like how she loves science. We got to talking about theories, so I thought I was all smarty pants trying to encourage her love of science, which is not my thing in the least. Here's how my mommy teaching moment went: "I think it's great how you love science. We'll have to work on a science experiment together. Mommy remembers one she did to learn if plants grow better with vitamin C. I started with a question, tested it, then came up with a conclusion." [I feel good. I'm encouraging her love of science and I remember this!] "That's what scientists do. They come up with theories and they experiment to determine if their theory is right or not. There are different phases of a science experiment. First, you have to have a theory, then you test it out to see if you can prove it. Based on your experiment results, you conclude with an hypothesis." [Oh, crap. Is the hypothesis the theory or the conclusion?] "Actually, Emma, I think the hypothesis is the theory and you come to a conclusion after testing. I'm not certain, so we'll have to ask Daddy or look it up on the computer." At least I can explain to her how a search engine and the Internet work, and how great it is that we can search for all the information people put on computers to share with insufficient mothers like me. Although, I am banking on the contributors to wikipedia being more like Daddy than Mommy. So, I see a day in the near future where I'll have to find the words to admit that there is so much I don't know. Daddy can talk people, places and things and Mommy can handle emotions, problem solving and math. I think I'll have to couple it with a lesson in humility for the two of us. My lesson to admit it, and her lesson to not gloat in it.

The beginning of a new adventure

6 weeks ago we had our third child. Two days ago, I resigned from my job as a web developer to stay home full-time with my children. With so many life changes in the making, I decided to start a blog. I know I'm ages behind, but with all the child-rearing help I've received from other moms blogging, I decided to start documenting my adventures as a mommy of three. Our first child, Emma, is 6 and is really enjoying her first year in kindergarten as well as being the best big sister ever! Our second, Josh, is 2. He's got a great sense of humor and has been a natural soccer dribbler since he started walking. Our third, Kate, is 6 weeks old. So far, she takes the cake for being the most easy going of the three as an infant. She's starting to smile and I can't wait for her personality to start showing more and more as she grows. My husband, Danny, and I have been married just over 8 years. He's my best friend and a great dad. I really enjoy seeing him evolve as a father. When Emma was born, he slowly overcame his fears of a floppy neck and the first sticky diaper in the hospital. By the time Kate came around, he changed the first diaper in the hospital without a second thought. Oh yeah, he's obsessed with golf. I'm sure that will come out at some point. The last month has beeen an emotional rollercoaster. We've had Josh in speech therapy for 8 months now. He's made so much progress, going from not saying yes/no, Mommy and Daddy, and being quite frustrated to now using many two word phrases and really trying to tell us his desires. He's recently started to say hi to people when they come in a room, which is so exciting to us! Josh has two sides: 1. sweet and loving side with an outstanding sense of humor and 2. a very frustrated, screaming, head-banging boy. The daycare he goes to is outstanding and his teachers handle is fits so well and patiently. I have learned so much from them. Around the time Kate was born, they started to ask more questions about his behavior patterns at home and I could tell they were starting to get concerned about his behavior being more than just a speech delay. Since then, we have decided to get out of our bubble of just seeing his progress and start looking at the bigger picture. We openly expressed to his teachers, the director, his pediatrician and speech therapist that we are concerned and know his behavior is not normal. Now we're on the path to do something about it. So, now the adventure has begun. I have learned so much online by what moms have written about their kids and their journeys in getting them assessed and treated. I'm hoping that writing out what we go through could potentially help another mom, but at the least will give me an outlet as we figure out what we can do to help Josh. Here's where we're at. - At Kate's 5-day checkup, we mentioned Josh's head banging issues to the pediatrician for suggestions on how to handle and control them. She was well aware since every time we were in her office, he had bruises on his forehead. Her suggestion was for us to do a nutritional screening for him, called NutrEval. It checks for all vitamin and mineral deficiencies, amino acids, antioxidants, etc. She believes that if his nutrition is out of whack, it can cause behavioral issues. We proceeded with the lab work and are still waiting for the results. It's been 4 weeks, but the lab is backed up. Hopefully, any day now. - I have been talking frequently with several teachers and the director at daycare about what they see in Josh, what they've seen in the past, and we've been working together and really opened the lines of communication so they know I won't freak out if they express concerns about Josh's behavior. - I have been reading books and Internet articles and message board posts to find what areas we should be looking into. Reading what others have gone through makes a lot more of his past behaviors in development stand out more, like his obsession with fans. I thought he liked them and never thought anything of it. But that, in conjunction with many other behaviors, lead me to think he might have a sensory issue. - I started a list of his behaviors that are concerning to us:

• Head banging
• Severe tantrums
• Unexplained breakdowns
• Closing his eyes to shut out what is happening around him
• Fascination with things that spin: fans, clocks, helicopters, wheels
• Attachment to blanket and balls
• Resistant to change: food, TV shows, books, riding in a new car
• Toe walking
• Picky eating: never eats rice, pasta, eggs and phases of eliminating meat or dairy
• Speech delay
• Sensitive to loud noises
• W-sitting

- I scheduled a development assessment with the pediatrician the end of April. - I mentioned to our speech therapist concerns about him intentionally hurting himself. She referred a behavioral counselor through ECI (Early Childhood Intervention). - After speaking to daycare teachers and doing some research, I requested our ECI speech therapist refer us to an occupational therapist for evaluation. That is in process. - The behavioral counselor came out yesterday. We went through all of Josh's history. She wants the occupational therapist to eliminate sensory issues before we treat his head banging and tantrums as a behavioral issue. She gave us some charts to chart his fit scenarios and sleep patterns. She said that will be valuable for his pediatrician and all future assessments. We'll see her again in 2 weeks, hopefully after seeing an OT and after the pediatrician sees him. She said the pediatrician might refer us to a developmental pediatrician and/or neurologist (common referral for severe head banging). Most importantly, I'm praying for patience each day. Danny and I are doing our best to be compassionate and know that Josh is suffering. If we can truly keep that frame of mind first, we hope patience will naturally follow. It's apparent that Josh needs help now. Up until this past month, we haven't felt worried about him, but it's time to completely open our eyes to his needs and throw everything we can at getting our family the help we need to help Josh get through his delays. Just by walking him through scenarios and teaching him how to handle a frustrating or scary situation, we have seen improvement the next time he encounters it. So, I don't know what will become of this blogging thing. I plan to keep the information coming on our family's progress as we assess and get help with Josh's development. But we also have a lot of fun that I plan to share. Emma says so many fun things and is trying to get a hand on what is important in life and relationships. I could keep a blog just on what she says each day. Josh is constantly discovering new things and becoming more adventurous. He's discovered the world of Elmo and sometimes lets Elmo replace his ball at bedtime as his blankie companion. And, Kate has started smiling and cooing. I can't wait for her little giggle to come! So, with the job resignation behind me and my heart and soul fully focused on my family, here's the start of a new adventure as a mommy of three...